ONE YEAR CANCER FREE
ONE YEAR CANCER FREE! 💛
It almost seems surreal! One year ago, I was lying in a hospital bed after my double mastectomy. May 25th.. a date that holds so much for me. Hope for my future. The biggest and boldest prayers that I remain cancer-free. Some guilt that I am cancer-free and so many I love and care deeply about are not. Even bigger and bolder prayers to God for them and their journey.
Today, one year out I am great! I am finding out who exactly I am post my cancer journey. Learning I will never be the woman I was before my breast cancer diagnosis. She is gone and I am okay with that now. I am a different version of myself. I think that is normal, I do not know how someone could walk through cancer, treatment, surgeries..look into the eyes of fellow cancer warriors & not be different. I am stronger, and more inclined to live for my family and my loved ones. More willing to chase my dreams and for what truly brings me happiness. To say no to the other things. To continue to take care of my body, it is the only one I will be given & I know it might be called to fight at the drop of a dime. To love BIG & hard and make sure I say it! I don’t want to ever wish I did and didn’t. To try my damndest not to live in fear of the future. I know that is SO much bigger than me and my worry won’t change it. So I do my best to hand it over to God. Now, this doesn’t mean I do not worry because I am human and insanely flawed but when I head down the rabbit hole I try to pull myself out quickly.
I look back and I feel lucky… for the perspective. To have learned how much so many people love me & my family. I will always be so thankful for everyone’s love, prayers & all the help. Truly, thank you will never be enough.
I am so grateful for the gift of time. I can tell Lena’s memories of last year are fading. She doesn’t see Mommy as being sick or worried when I go to an appointment and time did that. Time has allowed my hair to grow, and my scars to heal (both inner and outer). Blessed me with the ability to trust in my body again. It really is a beautiful thing. It doesn’t change anything but in time everything heals.
So I guess you could say I’ve been making a lot of Lemonade over the last year! God willing that is exactly what I’ll keep doing! Lemonade is always best made with sweet and a few sour lemons too! So I will roll with the punches! I know life will never be perfect but dang I’m so glad I am here to live it!
Cheers to my 1 year Anniversary!!!
💛🍋💗
